Cowboy Bebop (2021): See you no more!

When the construction of hyperspace terminals for space travel began in two thousand and twenty-one, humanity reached out to new worlds. The Solar System was filled with colonies and settlements, man was preparing to jump between the stars. Humanity has already dreamed of new discoveries, new horizons, new achievements – as it was before, during the times of great geographical discoveries.

But in fact, humanity had to endure the most terrible tragedy in its history – a series of adaptations from Netflix. I mean, the terminal system, which became a blessing for a planet suffocating from overpopulation, became its curse. A critical error caused the Earth Terminal to explode – and the amount of energy was quite enough to split the Moon, the Earth’s satellite, kill almost five billion people in an instant, and provide a constant meteor shower that hits the unfortunate cradle of humanity to this day.

It is not surprising that the Exodus from Earth began and people poured into distant colonies, some of which were previously used as prisons and hard labor. Food shortages and wars for resources began. By two thousand seventy-one, the population of the entire Solar System is a measly one and a half billion people, the Earth continues to receive blows from meteorites over and over again, and crime has raised its head. The government, torn between many planets, satellites and space stations, could not cope with the rampant crime, and it is not surprising that the profession of a bounty hunter has become relevant again .

It is against this backdrop that the story unfolds, where the fates of very different people are intertwined on the ship Cowboy Bebop.

Spike Spiegel, former Red Dragon assassin.

Jet Black, former cop nicknamed Black Dog.

Hacker Ed and scammer Faye Valentine.

Once upon a time, Spike, a woman named Julia, and a veteran of the war on Titan Vicious were part of a syndicate Red Dragon. Julia and Vicious were lovers, but the former military man, who went into crime, found himself there and began to make his way to the top. Regardless of methods and trifles, such as morality and conscience, Vicious walked with a confident gait towards success. The already dangerous veteran finally turned into a crime shark – it’s not surprising that Julia became close to Spike behind the back of the ambitious criminal.

As a result of some events, both Julia and Spike had to hide and hide, but the final point in this crime story will be set only in the twenty-sixth episode of the anime. And the ending is unlikely to leave anyone indifferent.

Now take everything I said above, pack it into innuendos and hints, and scatter it throughout the adventure-filled series! Bounty hunting is not for the faint of heart. This space western actively juggles with mood: the viewer can expect to meet a creepy killer, a smart corgi, reforge a space cowboy into a space samurai, and even a space horror movie.

NEVER forget food in the refrigerator!

NEVER forget food in the refrigerator!

NEVER forget food in the refrigerator!

NEVER forget food in the refrigerator!

Okay, enough about the good stuff.

While in the yard 2021 year of our reality, and Netflix released his adaptation.

Netflix loves to adapt and improve everything – as it should, bringing it to the desired consistency. I bet they’ll adapt sooner or later War and Peace, why not? And when they said that they would make a series based on anime, people took it with caution. Netflix really loves to go somewhere to the side, although it would be more correct to say “to the bottom”. Characters change gender, skin color. The script of the canonical work from Netflix is ​​a mixture of completely careless pressure for pity and attempts to impart adulthood with the help of blood and tits.

I sat down to the series with VERY low expectations, and it had to try very hard to make me bomb. Well what can I say – well done, we tried.

To begin with, I will go over the beginning of the conflict, which is revealed in ninth, PENULTUTE episode – a big, big flashback.

So here it is, Fearless..

Yes, that’s what they call Spike here. Pretentious, loud and like the nickname "BABA YAGA". So, Fearless is a man from the bottom who somehow managed to get surrounded by Vicious, the son of one of the Syndicate tycoons.

This is John Wick. He fights like Bruce Lee, shoots like a god with his Remington bolt action, and yet is loyal to Vicious, considering him a bro. He appreciates a helpful guy, and in general – strong male friendship in the ninth episode is proven by joint mochilov and a conversation about shaving balls (more details in the video version). Isn’t this an indicator??

And everything would have gone smoothly for the guys if not for three facts.

Fact one – Vicious fell for Julia, a singer from the club where they loved to party.

Fact two – Vicious is a scarecrow, against the background of which Spike looks like Semin prancing on a motorcycle against the backdrop of a despicable gamer. No wonder Julia hooked up with Spike.

Fact three – after another global mess, the unauthorized murder of a person from another group – Spike is ordered to kill his cuckold friend. But instead, Fearless decides that it’s easier to kill an entire crime syndicate, and arranges a beating of some homeless rednecks, simultaneously planning an escape with Julia.

It all ends with a fall from a cliff and a false death.

The left one will poke his magic wand at you. Right – with a sword.

The left one will poke his magic wand at you. Right – with a sword.

That is, you already understand the situation: Vicious in the anime is a strong independent fighter who has reached the heights of HIMSELF. Through blood, bullets, explosives and a couple of buckets of poison into a glass of competitors. This is a FIGURE in the world of crime.

Vicious from the series is a snickering and arrogant major with a criminal dad who doesn’t appreciate him, and that’s why he planned a coup. And I screwed up even here, but the ending is a different story..

Which we will get to sequentially – almost – to feel the entire depth of the bottom.

"The biggest benefit of being able to https://casinomidnite.co.uk/games/ work on this was that we knew we were being invited to play in someone else’s sandbox, and that sandbox was very generous. They told us: “You are telling your story”. (c) Andre Nemec, showrunner.

The series begins with an attempt to rob a casino on a space station by gopars. Moreover, from the very beginning they declare that they are not just anyone, but fighters for all that is good – because the leader of the bandits once worked here, but he was kicked out of work, and in general – we are not like that, life is like that. The entire dialogue is accompanied by Vaas cosplay, but the Asian copy of John Wick easily enters the room with the hostages and solves the problem with Indian physics, a coin trick and the black elf assistant Jet Blat… I mean, Black.

The fight scenes are done poorly in an anime style: when drawn people fight in anime, the exaggeration gives expressiveness to what is happening, helps to show emotions, and emphasizes the characters. When real people do the same, it turns out poorly. Unless, of course, it’s a porn parody – but it’s still not quite that.

“We prepared the sets, we prepared the props, we prepared the costumes, we did all this not to imitate anime, but to create a series in the spirit of anime.” . (c) Andre Nemec, showrunner.

Netflix I reproduced the screensaver with live actors, but it turned out shamefully – there is no liveliness and dynamics, there are a bunch of cosplayers. Action scenes are constantly tilting the camera and anime pauses in battle, and hand-to-hand combat is a hellish mixture of robot dancing and Neo and Agent Smith waving.

The bandits are defeated by depressurizing the room, followed by EXTREME sealing of the holes, thanks to the heroism of the black elf assistant.

And I call Jet an elf not because he has pointy ears and shoots a bow, but because his mind is truly elven. This is an ex-cop who does his best to care for his daughter. He’s also a bit of a witch – after all, one of his former colleagues stole his wife, and now he’s trying to have a fuck in the presence of his ex-husband. And he doesn’t seem to mind too much!

But the most important thing is that this former cop, a specialist, in the anime is a wise and insightful lonely man beaten by life, in the series he DOESN’T EVEN IMAGINE that Spike is a former fighter of the Syndicate. That is, he doesn’t wonder where this murky bastard knows how to kill people so cleverly.

Yes, every second person here can do that, so what?!

However, let’s not run ahead of the locomotive. The first episode tells about the meeting of the heroes with Faye Valentine, when friends and the girl come across the same goal.

Igor Voitenko proves in practice the benefits of his system, and even in the seventy-first year he has the strength and endurance of a real Spartan. Detractors say that the secret lies in the drug “red eye”, which Igor and his girlfriend stole from the Syndicate, but they don’t understand shit and are just jealous.

Look, Lapenko also lived to two thousand and seventy-one – thanks to diet and exercises from a guru. I just wanted to ask if there were any new programs, but the sensei was not in the mood, word for word, the guys fought..

Igor’s ending turned out to be sad, and he was not allowed into Rome, Spain, and was shot on approach. The girl, the daughter of a senator, also died – so everyone was left without a reward. And the point of the episode is that Lapenko, to his misfortune, learned that Spike is alive.

Eh, he lived until 2071, and would have lived further, but you managed to bring bad news to the boss… Vicious report estimated one blow with a katana – this is what watching the trilogy leads to Star Wars from Disney.

And I can’t stop thinking about these fish that lie at the fish factory-headquarters of our Catan lover.

I look and can’t help thinking that Vicious’s father, whom his idiot son had completely swayed, sent him here into exile. And as punishment, the Geralt of Rivia cosplayer is forced to cut up fish with a sword – which is why he is in such a lousy mood that he hacked to death the messenger with bad news.

In the original anime, Vicious also had a pet bird, which gave +10 to charisma and resemblance to Captain Harlock, but here on his belt buckle, using a freeze frame, you can find this bird.

The second episode begins with a demonstration of a TV show from the world of the series, where new contracts are announced – Big Shot. The presenters are on point, and just as creepy as in the anime.

The search for the bomber maniac unfolds in parallel with Vicious’s first attempt to kill Spike with someone else’s hands, but Spike is strong in robot dancing, so he kills the killer. And it turns out to be a demolitionist – who would have thought?! – demolition worker from a construction site. Who loves Teddy bears and furfag.

By the way, the seasoned cop still doesn’t understand that his partner is behaving VERY strangely. For example, he wanders to a club, where a tight stream of agenda is poured over the viewer’s face.

Like a fat woman barmaid and her black power, Lynessa, who put two insolent men in their place. Anna is Spike’s old friend and information dealer, she also has a club and her own tame transvestite choreographer with a tattoo NO GENDER, so it’s an ultra combo.

By the way, this is Gren. Yes, in the anime it was a character from Vicious’s military past, with a tragic fate. But here he is a cheerful trance choreographer who, with screams of HOP-HEY-LALALEY, prepares the girls for the performance.

By the way, this is Gren. Yes, in the anime it was a character from Vicious’s military past, with a tragic fate. But here he is a cheerful trance choreographer who, with screams of HOP-HEY-LALALEY, prepares the girls for the performance.

Vicious has his own jokes – the Syndicate bosses found out about an unauthorized drug laboratory. After the punishment, where he is forced to shoot his wife Julia (another cuckold detected), and banter (and the gun was unloaded!) Vicious is also reported about the failure to eliminate Fearless.

And he executes a glass to the sound of a saxophone.

And yes, I still haven’t mentioned it – but all this time the heroes were flying from planet to planet. But it feels about the same as Shevtsov’s size compared to his ego.

The third episode finally convinces that Jet’s intelligence is at the level of a shell. After all, it’s his daughter’s birthday, and he urgently needs a gift. But don’t think that we are talking about some kind of futuristic android robot, or at least WALLY – no, instead, the ultimate dream of children in 2071 is a clumsy doll from the nearest Chinese toy store.

Now they are hanging out on the planet Tarsis, from where Jet wants to escape, and Spike is waiting for information from hired spies.

And I didn’t understand a little. Did I mention that the anime takes place in the Solar System?. And here is some kind of "Tarsis". So we have the Solar System – or the entire Galaxy at our disposal? Or is it a mistake of our translators who mixed up the name of the city and the planet?

Spike finds a contract – on the head of a rich man’s killer – and thereby keeps his partner on Tarsis; to find the target, he will have to survive a meeting with Macron’s wife, who just did not immediately attack Jet – this is his informant, Woodcock. The way this lively old woman harasses a hefty black man is just my respect..

So, this rich man’s killer, whose name I don’t even want to remember, uses a camouflage device. He took this thing from a brothel where similar devices are used by prostitutes.

Netflix’s recipe for an adult product – more tits, more raspberry jam depicting blood, more raunchy jokes! And there is less coherence of the plot, seriousness and clear dialogues. Today’s audience won’t understand.

Actually, the partners find the killer, the police bring him down, but before that the series gives birth to another kind of social message. The already mentioned collapse of the earth’s relay was not instantaneous, and the richest people managed to fly away from Earth, taking with them their pets – dogs. This vigilante killed dog owners because they chose to save animals rather than people. I wanted to kill the dogs too, but my hand did not rise, because they are cute! :3

As a result, the police bring down the criminal, the friends are left with nothing – but they get the best character in the series.

In the anime, Ain is a Welsh Corgi dog who was experimented on and was very smart. So much so that he could even hack security systems. An attempt to give Aina to Jet’s daughter ends in failure – because you have to pay NOLOG for animals, and as a result the dog remains on the ship. Oh, and the doll, bought on the black market, was smashed into trash during the pursuit of the criminal. But it didn’t get any uglier.

Vicious is shown briefly – but for all the money. He is ordered to close down his drug laboratory – and so he closes it down..

SHOOTING PERSONNEL AND EXPENSIVE EQUIPMENT!

In the finale – Spike holds his enemy at gunpoint with a sniper rifle and chats with him on the phone. And gives a warning to the head, to the bulletproof glass.

The fourth episode, in terms of bloodiness, tops everything I’ve seen in shitnetflix series. And she is dedicated to Fay Valentine. The girl was once placed in a cryocapsule, and after awakening she was robbed by scammers. Fey doesn’t remember herself, she only has a token – and she finally found one of the scammers, and..

And exactly at this very moment, Giger’s fans decide to become concerned with environmental issues. Snouts in gas masks come to the pretentious theater and stage a terrorist attack, turning people into trees. I won’t show this, otherwise they’ll cut out my channel, but the scene is sickening and disgusting. And the unlucky swindler later gives oak.

Terrorists stole Fairy’s ship, she finds Spike and Jet, and proposes a joint operation, simultaneously admiring the qualities of the corgi.

These funny idiot terrorists are trying to launch entire rockets with gas that turns everyone into plants, the heroes are preventing this, and it’s like I’m retelling a parody of James Bond. Only there has been a parody of Bond more than once, and much more interesting, but here – EMPTINESS, except for the SUDDEN heroic sacrifice and miraculous rescue of the Fairies.

However, put a little pea on the bullet in her shoulder – what does that accident mean to her??

Julia suddenly realizes that Spike is alive – over a bottle of wine, at which point Sherlock left the chat. And Vicious is trying to intrigue and screams at the top of his voice that he is preparing a coup.

The fifth episode is about how detective Jet Black lost his arm and spent several years in prison because his partner set him up. And this plot twist adds tragedy to the character’s fate… It also shows that both then and now he was not very smart, since he did not understand that Spike was a former killer.

But it doesn’t matter.

It is important that Netflix remembered: no one in the series has yet swallowed eggs, so they add to the plot a polished black man named Santiago named Eunuch, who does this on an ongoing basis. In the sense – he cuts off the balls of his enemies and, in general, everyone who insulted him, and eats.

And Mao – a woman who cosplays as Peter Falk.

A few words about Mao, in the original – the head of the Syndicate and the man who kept everyone in check and did not allow lawlessness.

Here she is a strong and independent woman who works in a workshop, melts gold and is simply one of the officers of the Syndicate. And Vicious tries to persuade her to participate in the coup, and Mao agrees only after Julia gives her oral pleasure in the presence of her husband.

I mean, he’ll sing. Vicious is bombing as always.

And Spike and Fey drink and dance the tango with the corgi.

Spike falls into the trap of an enraged AI on magnetic tapes, and over and over again experiences Groundhog Day with the death of Julia at the hands of Vicious.

Jetu still turns on his intellect a little, finds his sleeping friend and goes to the rescue.

And Fey suddenly realizes that she likes girls – and she hooks up with the local version of the gadget, who just stopped by to fix the ship. The main joke of the episode is that Fey bought a railgun, but there is nothing to shoot from it, and only with the help of her new mistress’s hairpin does she save Spiegel from death.

The seventh episode is another story about sexual perversions.

The gist: While Fey is discovering the world of same-sex relationships, a woman-swindler comes to her, who at one time woke up, robbed and left the girl alone in the new world. And asks himself to be saved from his abusive husband.

SHMINKA is the name, if anything. Considering what he wears in the summer – a fur coat, I can imagine what the smell is like there. I would also try to stay away from this type.

In exchange, she will give away Fairy’s property, which can shed light on the girl’s past, and depicts the CHEMISTRY between the characters, in the manner of the old movie Heartbreakers, where a mother and daughter scammers spud clients. In the end, it turns out that this is all a role-playing game “escaping from my husband”: in the end they had hot sex, like my ass after watching this series.

True, this role-playing game cost the lives of several of Mink’s henchmen, because Spike killed them while he was giving chase, and Jet danced on the interplanetary Internet at his daughter’s matinee. The result of the rape of my mind was an old videotape.

There was a whole episode in the anime about how they were looking for a VCR to watch it… In short, a vague “hello, I’m from the future, it’s me from the past,” and not a single clue. But there is pressure to feel sorry – after all, Fey is so lonely and unhappy.

Much more interesting are the adventures of Vicious, who persuades an egg-swallowing black man to join in a conspiracy. There are three conspirators in total – Mao, Santiago and Vicious. The plan involves the Joker’s gambit: when Vicious is brought into the courtroom for execution in handcuffs, he frees himself and hacks at the elders.

Because this will be the only weapon in the courtroom – not counting, of course, the guards.

All this Asian style of the Triads and Yakuza in the anime was a TRIBUTE TO TRADITION. The syndicate used firearms a lot and willingly, and Vicious did not plan his coup alone, but prepared properly. After the murder of Mao and the Elders, he organized purges, killed someone else, and took over the organization. And here this bombing scarecrow is going to take out a crowd of guards with a sword at the ready in one mug.


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